She Said, He Said

This week’s new flash fiction is goodbye noir.

She Said, He Said

She read her note again, start to finish. It was important she get it exactly right. She knew it would be analyzed. Dissected. Picked apart. They always are. By family and friends. And others. Perhaps police, was that standard procedure? Looking for clues. Trying to understand the why of it.

“I’m so sorry. I just can’t take it anymore. I know people think I’m not this kind of person. To do something like this. But I’m not as strong as they think. I just can’t go on like this. There is no other way. Goodbye.”

She knew this would be viewed by some as a coward’s way out. But she was desperate. She had to silence that voice that followed her everywhere. Somehow. Once and for all. That voice that always told her how worthless she was. Talked her down. One way or another, it had to end.

She knew she’d be taking a parent away from a child. Her child. That made it harder of course. The hardest part, really.

Couldn’t she just leave? No. That would be letting him off too easy.

Divorce? Same. She had to make a statement. Couldn’t just let him win. Buy her off. Wanted him to really feel it. Pay for it. Suffer along with her. Not just move on.

This certainly would get his attention. He’d feel this. It would make people wonder what he’d done to her.

She could just kill him and do her time. That obviously was a less than satisfactory result.

She could kill him and try to claim self defense. Rely on the criminal justice system. That seemed too much of a crapshoot

No, she had thought it through. This was the best path.

As with anything, there were pragmatic concerns. Leaving a body in the home posed practical issues. Cleanup and disposal. And more concerns where it came to traumatizing the kid. Coming home after school. Finding a parent like that. Could scar one for life.

But where else to do it?

Going offsite posed its own problems. A body being found by a stranger. Or worse, a scavenging animal. She shuddered. Simpler to just keep things at home. Private.

She was convinced there was no way to work out their problems. No way to outrun them. Other than this. Just quitting on the whole commitment.

She was not the religious type. Did not pray about what lay ahead.

In truth, she simply was at the end of her rope. This was an extreme measure, no doubt. A final one. But she’d made up her mind.

She read the suicide note one last time. Finally, she was satisfied with the wording. This was the message she’d present to the world. As a final goodbye.

Goodbye to this life.

Off she would go, into the mysterious great beyond. Free at last.

She slid the note out of the printer and placed it carefully, unsigned, in front of her poisoned husband, slumped at his desk, then headed out to start her new life.

Kill herself?

Over him?

Are you serious?